After parties include a number of special guests and are considered a free-for-all! We don’t post these. You gotta be present to experience the hilarity! Here’s glimpse of what to expect if you tune into the next after party special. See you in two weeks for episode 3!
Let me first start with a warning. All of this shit is completely contingent on Blizzard Entertainment – motherfuckers are obviously a bunch of pandering men (especially in regards to expansion announcements.) They spit game like porn stars to get you alone and then turn into premature ejaculating teenagers as soon as your pants hit the floor. Never forget what ashran was supposed to be versus what we actually got. We must be cautious. Especially if, like me, you’re prone to getting hyped-the-fuck-up over big promises and cool looking shit. If we can already say one thing about Legion, we can say that it has some extremely cool looking shit!
This expansion could very well be Fight Club or it could just as easily be Happy Feet 2. Either way, it will result in some extremism among the lore lovers. We have asked for demon hunters since we killed Illidan. We have asked for more glaive models since the Warglaive of Azzinoth went to fury warriors instead of rogues and got two which were like cow pies compared to carrot cake. Legion should mark the end of the long Burning Legion saga. We will at least see ambassadors of Azshara, if not the queen herself. Jaina and Sylvanis are apparently up to something in their own right. And last, but not least, we’re getting a glimpse of the Emerald Dream/Nightmare. There is a lot happening from the lore perspective and people are bound to posture based on their own biases and desired storyline trajectory. But, that’s the point. That’s what has gotten Blizz this far. If nothing else, they stir emotions and spark debates. To be honest, I feel like a dick because I won’t experience most of it since I’ve decided that it’s time to smash faces, PvP and drink copious amounts of alcohol. And I don’t believe there has ever been a better time.
Okay, lets talk turkey. There are so many changes that seem subtle but have a much larger impact once you start peeling back the layers. The PvP talent system will replace the gear grind and could become the catalyst that captivates gamers from other titles which require much less investment. The most mechanically momentous component of the new system is autonomous PvP balancing. Halle-fucking-lujah! The devs will have an unprecedented measure of freedom to evaluate discrepancies and make changes affording an honest chance for true PvP balance. If Blizz plays their cards right, the skilled players may finally triumph over the no-lifers. But I remind you, Blizz loves to get you all warmed up and toss your salad just to walk out and slam the door with not so much as a “fuck you, Sprinkle.” Awkwardly specific – I know. Never mind!
As I was saying before you went off on that weird little tirade, This is the most significant revision to PvP ever. Remember when resilience was implemented as an “OMFG” reaction to tier items providing raiders with a distinct advantage over PvP purist? We got two more shitty renditions of resilience in WoTLK and Cata in the name of balancing PvP and PvE without bias. Suddenly Blizz decided charge the other polarity and introduced PvP power in MoP. (More power!) Finally, in WoD we got PvP item level, which boosted one’s effectiveness when entering PvP combat or instances – perhaps, their best attempt to maintain a dual dependency system. Nevertheless, you can still get your dick knocked in the dirt by a mage, queue again and find yourself in a tickle fight with a warlock.
Personally, I love this change. From the perspective of a Horde player who plans to do a lot of battlegrounds these changes will go a long, long way to make that grind much more tolerable. There are quite a few factors here but I’ll cover the majors. If item level is normalized and skill/talents will be the new king of casual PvP, newly capped players’ relevance is directly proportionate with their skill cap. If the trinket/freedom ability becomes a PvP talent shit will get fuckin’ extreme real quick! It will render the Human racial ability useless. Thus, making The Horde racials hella sexier than before. This change would ultimately facilitate a major influx of PvPers to The Horde essentially eradicating the faction imbalance – merc mode/smerk mode. I got nine pages deep before I gave up on finding a Hordie in the elite 3v3ers. I’m still skeptical. Blizz has always protected the human racial like North Korea protects its borders. But, one can have hope!
It might surprise you to hear that the most crucial PvP alteration gives no fucks about the outcome of a match. Nor does it have any fucks to give regarding game-play. But it will breed player investment like a conglomerate of rabbits chewing on ecstasy pellets listening to electro techno. The prestige system (CoD – every goddamn time I click that button) will have players grinding for as long as Blizz can keep the artists attention on free game content and off of microtransactions. The lengths players will go to in order to earn badges, mounts, transmog gear, etc. will be astonishing. You’re damn right – I’ll be right there grinding for that shit too. And then, I’ll get on one of my other characters and do the exact same thing again. Because aesthetics. Fuck your judgery!
All and all, Legion is shaping up to fix a lot of things that have longed plagued PvP. The Blizzard team finally threw their hands in the air and said “fuck it, lets balance them separately.” No shit, Sherlock! Some key abilities are being put into a talent system and will be earned by simply queuing for a battleground. There will finally be incentive for the masses to grind BGs. Most importantly, Blizz will have to manufacture a new way to empower humans! Light saber racial? Praise be to the salisbury-steak-eating, snozzberry-licking, finally-saying-fuck-the-dumb-shit dev team! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Good game, Sprinkle!