Lets stick to the facts. I play WoW but I don’t talk about it in public. I am embarrassed by the level of geek that happens when I hear other people talk about WoW in public. For example, my wife wanted to engage the nerds we shared a cab with on the way to the hotel the night we arrived for Blizzcon with WoW banter. My murmured response was simple; “Shut up, they’ll hear you. Look at your feet and don’t make eye contact!” That being said, I’m obviously a hypocrite. But, let’s get this straight, I don’t geek out because I am full of unleashed nerd-gasms. I geek out because I want to be the best!
It all started in Vanilla as a rogue. – why Rogue? Because fuck everybody! Cold Blood + Ambush + Backstab into an Eviscerate = Death. That’s why – One day my buddy purchased a HWL Arms Warrior with Ash’ Kandi off Ebay (we don’t judge here motherfucker) and gave me the login information. On that day I fell in love. When I charged another warrior and white crit that son-of-a-beached-whale for 50% of his health and then Mortal struck his ass for 50% overkill (that’s a 150% of his health – JACK) I never looked back. Inc Wompdonkey!
Me? I sometimes cry when I yawn. I am like a pinball when I’m drunk. Only, redheads are my bumpers and I’m bouncing around from one to the next. I can stand on my head for bizarre amounts of time. I feel like I probably pee too often and my nose would probably give you PTSD from every Muppet Baby nightmare you’ve ever had (Gonzo.) I’m an asshole and yet, people like (or tolerate) me pretty well. Maybe it helps that I surround myself with other assholes. I like to drink Blue Moon, Yuengling, Oktoberfest (SA) or the occasional Shocktop. I really only like Rum. Okay, I LIKE bourbon but it hates me, which makes me hate everything! So I don’t indulge. Tequila isn’t a good idea… for anyone… ever… I’ve seen it. However, I enjoy a top shelf screwdriver and long island ice tea when I’m not getting along with my bank account. Actually, Fuck… I guess I am pretty picky. Apparently, every fuck I’ve ever given has been deposited into my beverage predispositions.