I am going to attempt to avoid my cynical, table flipping demeanor in this article. At the end I will grade myself on how well I accomplished that. I completely expect to get an ‘A’.
I ask myself, “Self, what the fuck are we supposed to do for another 8 months?”, referring to the next World of Warcraft expansion which will drop no sooner than June 20th, 2016 and no later than September 21st, 2016. Taking the median of those 2 dates is August 5th….8 whole damn months from now. Come the fuck on, bro. That means we will be in Hellfire Citadel for over a year. Fucking HFC will have a birthday before we get the expansion. How is that even acceptable given Blizzard’s stated goals. It isn’t.
Let’s compare this to other expansions. We have this cool chart that shows all kinds of data of which we will be looking at the “Duration of Last Raid” in the very pleasant mauve color.
Guess which “End of the Expansion Doldrums” were shorter than Warlords: mother fucking Cataclysm. As if we needed another checkbox to further add to the Warlords title of Worst Expansion Ever. Grats, Warlords!
ooking over the data, an odd coincidence seems to materialize. After Blizzard stated that they wanted to release content faster, we get the 2 longest hiatuses of content:
-Mop Siege of Orgrimmar – 14.30 months
-WoD Hellfire Citadel – 12.65 months
Maybe Blizzard should do us a solid and, go back to not releasing content faster. We actually got it faster back when you didn’t try so hard.
So, what do we fucking do? Blizz did make some kind of half-assed effort by slapping some things in the latest patch, 6.2.3, on November 17th. We got:
– the return of Valor to upgrade your gear. (Fucking hoorah)
-the #FriendshipMoose. (Blatant incentivism)
-Cataclysm Timewalking dungeons. (uuugghhhh)
-Warlords PvP Season 3. (Shiney)
They probably will even call this a content patch.
For me personally, I am completely over Hellfire Citadel and Warlords in general regardless of a moose. I don’t do garrison work orders anymore. I only do 675 mission in hopes of a PvP token. Fuck ships.
This is what I posted on my guild’s forums:
“My heart for raiding in Warlords is just gone. That is just how I feel. It is nothing that anyone did or is doing. I know the exact moment when this began to happen. It was when Blizzard announced this was the last tier of content for Warlords on July 2nd. That took the largest part. I knew the length of time we would be spending in HFC. I knew the story that should have been told for Warlords wasn’t going to be. This really took away my enjoyment for Warlords. Ever since then each week the fucks I gave have been whittling down until where I find myself now.”
“I honestly did not want to join the raid this past Thursday night. It wasn’t anything anyone did. It wasn’t what we were doing. I understand what we were trying to do and the benefits of it. I do. But my lack of heart has just gotten to that point.”
“Shawn, this is basically the answer to your questions you had on Thursday. I couldn’t really formulate them into pseudo-articulate expressions until now.”
“I am not quitting, just letting yall know my feelings, which according to a trail of disenchanted women including my current wife, doesn’t happen often.”
The biggest draw in the game currently is the new PvP season. It isn’t a whole lot, but a decent chance to do something interesting.
Blizzard has admitted they dropped the ball on the content cycle for the end of the expansion. With dwindling subscription numbers, they are making attempts to keep people interested in the game. The biggest of which is giving Alpha to all the streamers and allowing them to stream it. This is the first time in history that Blizzard has allowed the Alpha phase to ever be seen by the public. Allowing the public to see expansion development doesn’t typically happen until Open Beta, 2 cycles away from Alpha. Blizzard is making an effort to keep people interested in WoW by waving the new shiney around.
Guess what though? It is fucking working. I wait daily to find out more information. I am hooked like everyone else. I have so many questions. I want to test how the classes feel. I want something other than the void that is currently in the game right-fucking now, and I hate Blizzard for that.
-Knuttgaard gives himself a solid B.